Reinvention

I’ve sat down and looked at this page several times now. This blog was a gift to myself for my birthday, but in true Jenn fashion – I haven’t made much time for myself since. To further illustrate the point, I sat down to write this evening and then popped right back up after ~30 minutes to dermaplane my face. Yes, really.

So then I sat down again and really thought about why I started this blog, why I went to the effort of creating this space for me and anyone else like-minded. In its simplest form, I did so in order to be more “me.” To become myself again. To provide a safe space to muse, unload, design, discover, and work through some deep – and not so deep – things. In short, this blog is meant to be a place of discovery – both of who I am and how I can be and do better. And hey, if I can help someone along the way? Perfection.

And that leads me to today’s topic of reinvention. I looked up the definition of the word; and according to google, reinvention is the action or process through which something is changed so much that it appears to be entirely new.

People often ask if true reinvention is actually possible. Most don’t believe it is. How many times have we all heard “once a ____, always a ____” or “people never change”?

Maybe it is my idealism, or maybe it is simply my desperate need for the idea to be true; but I have to believe that reinvention is not only possible, it is also inevitable multiple times in your life.  Before I go a little bit deeper, let me ask you this question.  Are you the same person you were when you were two years old? Are you the same person that you were 20 years ago? I can emphatically tell you that I am not. Because of that, I have to believe that intentional reinvention is also possible. 

So here I am in the middle of attorney of reinvention. I’m a mess. There is no way around that. I’m a huge cluster of a mess. I’m 44 years old, and I can barely keep my husband, my dog, and myself alive on a daily basis. I have ADHD, and that explains some of it. And truthfully, I have found some strategies over the last couple of years to manage that ADHD. However, I am still a huge mess. My house on any given day is a mess. My desk is a mess.

I am a nurse educator, and my work plans are a mess. I always pull them off, and I truthfully get great reviews, but transparently, it often comes down to the last moment. That’s not something I’m proud of, but it is something that is true.

Another truth that I cannot forget? Rather, another truth that I MUST not forget? I am a princess. I am the daughter of the King. I am His family! And He loves me. Even if I am a mess.

All that to say, even though I don’t have to, I am endeavoring to be worthy of the title of Princess. I want to take care of the temple of the Most High God. I want to take care of my sanctuary. I want to take care of my husband. I desperately want that ideal of being the proverbs 31 woman.

Can anyone else relate? Does anyone else feel the same way?

As of the beginning of this month, I have created new sources of accountability for myself. If you have poked around this blog, you probably already know what I am going to be working on. As we go through this together, I promise you that I will be honest and will share the things that truly work for me as well as the things that absolutely don’t. Nothing that I post or publish on this site is going to be untested.

I find myself often wishing there was someone in my same situation who could come over with a cup of coffee and listen to me rant and cry, and then tell me exactly what it is that I am doing wrong and exactly what it is. I need to change. I don’t have that person. I am hoping, though, you can have that person in me.

Here’s to reinvention!